


Playing Dress-up

by veredgf



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Humor, Humour, Monster - Freeform, Smut, Theater - Freeform, assignment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7160432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veredgf/pseuds/veredgf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M&S on undercover assignment, going to watch a play, when things get rather steamy and somewhat bizarre.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing Dress-up

**Author's Note:**

> Response to [@leiascully’s](https://leiascully.tumblr.com/) XF Writing Challenge, prompt: Theater.  
> Disclaimer: Just doing a little bit of borrowing, tis all. I swear they ain’t mine.

"Shoosh!" Scully hissed at him.

"What?" Mulder whispered, feigning innocence. "You're not telling me you're actually interested in that bull now, are you?" He was incredulous. They were on an assignment. Going to watch the play was just their cover. They were supposed to be there in case the mysterious entity returned. So they got all fancy-dressed; He wore a fancy suit and a bow tie while Scully adorned an amazing evening gown, with an impressive slash running almost from her panty line down to her ankle, and he was working hard on his will power, trying to prevent his fingers from doing some serious walking along that slash line. She also put on some extra makeup; dark blue mascara making her eyelashes more prominent, a stronger shade of red marking her lips and making her more enticing than ever.

When he knocked on her door a short while earlier, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the sight of her. He wondered if his school-boy demeanor was showing as he took her hand and guided her to the car. Her attire was such a striking difference from the usual pantsuits she wore on the job. Even off duty she usually wore casual comfy clothes; a simple T, everyday pants, a plain V necked top. She liked simplicity and he was basically fine with it. In fact, he rarely gave a damn about what she wore and she probably noticed that fact because during their first few assignments she actually did try to dress up a little more fancy and quite soon after she toned it down.

She looked fine in just about anything, he noted to himself, but right now she didn't look fine; she looked superb and he was beside himself. Of course, his boyish excitement made him feel somewhat more awkward than usual and he managed to ask all the wrong questions and make all the wrong remarks.

"Skinner knows that you spent money on this… errr… dress?" he asked her as they drove down town.

"You really think I'd go out and buy an evening gown especially for this assignment?" She sounded peeved.

"What? This is _your_ evening gown?" he snorted. "Get out!"

"As a matter of fact, yes it is." She uttered with obvious irritation.

Great, now he had to find a way to unstick the humongous boot blocking his mouth. "I didn't know you owned an evening gown. It's not like we go out to any fancy places."

"Just because _you_ prefer to spend _your_ off time indoors dribbling a basketball, doesn't mean that's how I prefer to utilize _my_ down time."

Her admonishing tone stung and he winced. _Brilliant._ He'd made the wrong comment. _You are so goddamn talented, Mulder_. "Really?"

Even though he was driving, he heard the gentle rustle signaling she was now facing him and he could imagine the drilling face she was now wearing as she spoke. "What's your _point_ , Mulder?"

The air in the car felt mighty cold now. _Geez, Mulder. Nice one._ But he couldn't stop himself from getting even more entangled in his verbal trap. "Well…" he drawled, "It's just that between the extra work hours we put on a daily basis and the fact that most times when I call you at home, you actually _do_ answer, and when I ask you what you're doing, it's usually house chores… so…." He let his words trail off, hoping she'd catch on.

"Shut the fuck up, Mulder!" she snapped.

_Eeek._ That hit home. Not that it made him feel any better. She looked so damn pretty and he wanted to do a silly song and dance around her and all he could do was be a jerk. She somehow brought that out of him and only because she made him turn into a silly teenager when she got dressed up like that. Man, it was awful. He was a grown man. He'd had steamy, oiled harlots sitting on his lap as they stroked his dog and he played around their plumbing. He'd never had any problem there, and the moment Scully appears in an evening gown and he goes all giddy and goofy and unable to control his tongue. Oh and he so wanted to use that tongue in oh so many ways, but now with a few silly comments and the ice queen had cometh. Definitely some of his best moves. Not!

Silence ensued as the ride continued until she finally broke it. "What was the name of that play, again?"

He was happy she'd moved on and did not hold a grudge. Scully never really stayed angry for too long. "I think it was called 'Jane and the Hairy Beast' ".

She snorted. "I'm guessing it's just a coincidence?"

He smiled. "Given the fact that various patrons had reported seeing an actual beast roaming the theater, I am starting to wonder."

"I would like to interview the theater's manager but I guess if Skinner had decided this was an undercover job, we won't have a chance of doing that. At least not today."

She was all business. As for him, all thought of work had ceased the moment he laid his eyes on her in that luscious dress of hers and now she was forcefully bringing him down to Earth. Reminding him of the actual reason for the irregular attire they were both wearing.

He sighed, feeling somewhat disappointed, then succumbed to reality. "I guess so."

"Did you get any chance of reading what the play was about? I usually get down to these details but between the autopsy report I had to handle and rushing home to get ready for the play, I just ran out of time so all I managed was a quick skim."

"As a matter of fact I did, and I'm telling you right now not to hold any high hopes for some grand theatrical performance. Apparently most of the actors in the play have some sort of familial connection to the stage manager. Usually they have some downright serious performances but this play is different. From as much as I gathered, it's being held in the Stern Theater as a favor for the stage manager's mother who's dying from stomach cancer and her final wish was to have the play she'd written performed in a real theater." He smiled at Scully's bemused smirk. "Don't ask."

Her smirk now grew into a foolish grin. "And from what I can recall, all of the 'creature's' appearances were during the final act of this particular play?"

"Ah-hm," he nodded agreement. "And before you remind me that the play incorporates a monster portrayed by one of the actors, I just want to point out that the witness accounts mentioned a totally different looking 'thing' ".

"And who's to say that that _'thing'_ wasn't just a supposedly unscripted, _scripted_ addition; some form of smart gimmick to get people coming? After all, this show is bound to tank being that both the playwright and the actors are anonymous and somebody has to make some money here. I mean, keeping such a theater running does have its costs."

Yes. He did like it when she touched every possible angle. "I guess that's what we're going to find out."

"Indeed," she agreed.

Two minutes later and Mulder was parking the car in the theater’s lot. Scully got out, slammed the door and muttered. “We’re late.”

Mulder raised his eyebrows at her remark. “You’re kidding me!”

She began to walk faster. “Mulder, we’re undercover!” she whispered in his ear as he caught up with her.

“Exactly!”

“I don’t think we’d blend in very well if we were exceedingly late.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t _do_ that!” she almost yelled at him.

“What?” he tried to hold off his silly grin but it almost felt like his mouth was going to burst.

She harrumphed. “Never mind.”

Despite the fact that Scully was rather petite and was sporting exquisite lithe dark blue stilettos that matched the color of her garment, she was amazingly agile and Mulder found himself hurrying behind her as she dashed towards the theater’s entrance. He arrived seconds after she’d already presented the usher with their tickets and he couldn’t believe it but he was actually somewhat breathless. He stared at Scully with utter disbelief. She actually made it top priority to get into the theater before the show began, and for what? A bunch of miserable amateurs trying to put on a novice writer’s play? He truly couldn’t fathom what was going through her head at that moment.

He followed Scully and the female usher who was now directing them to their seats. To his utter bewilderment, Scully had ordered front row seats and that meant that he wouldn’t be able to sit back and make snide comments without the actors actually hearing him. He grimaced. _Great going, Scully_. Of course, she was way ahead of him, getting herself seated and completely oblivious to his internal miseries.

As he reached her, he ungracefully plopped himself into his seat. He looked to his side and found Scully leafing through the show’s program. “I’m sure I can find you something better to read, Scully.”

“Hmmm?” Her eyes didn’t even wander towards him. They were still hiding behind the program as she continued to read it.

“You know? I just don’t get you.”

This time her eyes did peep from behind the program and with their makeup enhancement, there was something coy about the way she looked at him, almost as if she were holding a hand fan and flapping her eyelashes from behind it. He swallowed hard.

“What don’t you get?”

“It’s just… well, we aren’t really here for the play,” he told her quietly.

She raised her eyebrow at him, then gazed around them subtly. “Mulder!” she hissed, “Somebody might hear you!”

He snorted.

“I’m serious, Mulder!”

He sighed. “I know, I know.”

He sat back with resignation and she resumed her reading. He wondered how long till the torture would end but then there was a loud chime and two minutes later the play began and then he knew that up until now it was only the prelude. Now he understood the _true_ meaning of torture. This was far worse than a stakeout. At least in a stakeout he got to wear casual clothes, listen to radio shows and pop his favorite sunflower seeds.

In an effort to both alleviate his boredom and to actually do some investigative work, he began to scan his surroundings. A few quick glances behind him told him that the crowd was no more than fifty people or so. Most weren’t formally dressed and some had kids with them. He assumed that a major part of the crowd consisted of relatives of the actors and/or the stage manager. He turned to Scully and as he was about to whisper in her ear, his gaze got stuck on her slender hand. It was placed at the top part of her gown’s elongated slash, and she was absentmindedly rubbing her leg’s exposed skin. He blinked. _God woman! What are you doing to me?!_

He should be dancing with her somewhere instead of being cooped up in this sorry excuse for a theatrical play. This was undoubtedly _the_ definition of agony.

He forcefully detached his gaze from Scully’s hand and then huddled closer by her and whispered in her ear. “I’m climbing up the walls here. Gonna take a quick look around the block.”

She nodded assent and her hair brushed along his cheek and tickled him. He chuckled.

She abruptly turned her head and looked at him. “What’s so _damn_ funny?!”

“Your hair is tickly.” He smiled wholeheartedly at her.

She took on a shy girly look and turned away from him. “If you have to go _do_ something, Mulder, just go _do_ it already!” she snapped.

He smirked at her obvious discomfort and got up. He cowered until he got out of people’s view, then straightened up and stretched his legs, getting rid of the stiffness that had begun setting in. This was definitely more like it. He wandered up the theater’s stairs and began checking out every nook and cranny. He took in the various members of the crowd, trying to figure out each and every person sitting and watching the play; Amongst the mostly unremarkable populace, he only had suspicions about two. A couple; a male and a female who were dressed hippy style and totally didn’t mix up with the rest of the theater-goers. He made a mental note about the two, and continued his venture across the large theater hall, until he had come full circle.

Cowering again, he quickly passed all the front row seats until he came back to Scully. He landed back in his seat and whispered in Scully’s ear. “Is it the final act already?”

“Just about.”

He exhaled. Thank God for little miracles.

He sent another sneak peek at the stage, let out a miserable sigh and then gave Scully another glance. She sure cleaned up nicely. She held part of her hair in a golden hairpin with floral ornaments on it. Her cross necklace was accompanied by a beautiful golden necklace with floral ornaments matching her hairpin and the dress revealed her snow white delicate shoulders, usually hidden under jacket pads.

He sighed inwardly. What a waste of a beautiful pair of shoulders, not to mention how the gown enhanced every single curve in her body, especially her breasts who were so perfectly encased at that very moment.

Scully was a pretty woman but most days he didn’t see much beyond that suit of hers. They were so comfortable together; at times it was as if they were two buddies, having a good time together.

But it was also very different from that buddy-buddy relationship. They had intimacy. They knew each other better than many others knew them, and he was very passionate about her, and she about him. And it’s not like he didn’t fantasize but it was just left at that, and with the aid of professional attire, he could squash his fantasies, but today? He rubbed his forehead thoroughly. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to control himself much longer.

He shook his head and closed his eyes in frustration. _To hell with it!_

He let his hand touch hers very gently. First it was just his fingertips, caressing her palm, just by the infamous evening gown slit. He was testing the waters, waiting to see if she would resist him. He noted a slight gasp being emitted from her mouth but otherwise she didn’t say a word, nor did she make any move to show her dissatisfaction. He took this as a welcoming sign and proceeded to grab her entire hand in his. Her skin felt very soft and his large hand engulfed her small one and covered it completely. She kept to her silence and he was beginning to feel elation rushing through him, just from the simple fact that he was now rubbing Scully’s hand with his.

It was schoolboy stuff, yet, as far as the two of them were concerned, it felt like a major orgasm. Very slowly, almost as if he were a hunter approaching his prey, Mulder’s fingers began their journey along the gown’s slash, tracing its line all the while caressing Scully’s thigh. To his delight, he heard her release a very quiet, but quite discernable, moan.

They said nothing to each other, nor did they even look at one another. The play was running its course but Mulder was oblivious to it. He was feeling almost out of breath as adrenaline shot through his blood stream. He was thinking about the next step; about undressing Scully as they got into his apartment, about a hot and long steamy shower. He didn’t care anymore. It had to happen. His hand was slowly crawling back upwards, nearing Scully’s—

A ferociously loud growl was suddenly heard clearly in the large theater hall. A shocked crowd began to let out shouts of panic and despair as people got up with frantic hurry and plowed their way between the folded seats and out towards the first exit they could reach.

At the sound of the feral growl, Mulder immediately retrieved his hand from Scully’s thigh and automatically removed his gun from its holster. He looked at Scully; her eyes appeared widened with shock. She had obviously been so enthralled in their moment of intimacy that the sudden change in atmosphere caught her completely by surprise.

He directed his gaze at her golden purse. “Scully, your gun,” he mumbled under his breath.

She gingerly opened her purse, and pulled out her weapon. Mulder noted that the FBI agent in her was now taking over as her moves once again became more precise.

A second growl sounded from behind the stage. Loud shrieks of fear could be heard as the actors now joined the panicking crowd and began to flee the premises.

Mulder pointed his gun towards the location of the sound. It had to be more than one creature because the first growl was heard from the back part of the theater while the second one seemed to be coming from behind the stage. “Scully, I think you should go to the back and see if you can get the ‘thing’ there and I’ll try to catch the second one.”

She nodded and hurried up the stairs as Mulder marveled at her ability to stay erect while she ran on heels that resembled chopsticks. He quickly turned his attention back to the front stage as he slowly traversed the short distance to the staircase that lead to it. To his complete surprise, he now heard a third growl and it came from the left section of the large theater hall. “Scully!” he yelled out to her and was somewhat taken aback at the strong echo of his voice. “I think your ‘creature’ is heading for the stage.”

“Got it,” she hollered back at him and dashed down in pursuit of the invisible entity.

Mulder was now on stage. He hurriedly dashed to the side and went behind the curtains. Back stage was deserted. The silence was quite eerie. All he could hear were his footsteps as he trod carefully, trying to avoid scattered props dropped by the fleeing actors. He looked up and noted the catwalk meandering from above. Suddenly his eyes caught a glimpse of… something. He wasn’t quite sure as the lighting was rather dim. His eyes darted all around, in search of the catwalk’s access. Then he saw the steep ladder leading to the top. He holstered his gun and grabbed the metal rungs and began the tedious climb. Halfway to the top he heard the slow tick tick sound of Scully’s heels.

“Mulder?” she whispered.

Her whisper sounded almost like a loud cry in the spooky quiet of back stage. “Here,” he answered her in a low tone. He stopped his assent and looked down at her. “I think I spotted something up on the catwalk.”

She nodded, then began walking to the right side of the stage. “There’s another ladder on the other side. I’ll meet you up there. Hopefully we can corner this thing.”

He couldn’t ask for a better partner, that was for sure. “OK.”

He continued climbing upwards until he had finally reached his destination. He hardly had any breath left, but having not much of a choice, he pulled his gun back from its holster and gingerly headed along the narrow passageway, some twenty feet above the ground.

It was definitely not a good idea to look downwards, he noted to himself as he pushed forward. He peered into the darkness. He could have sworn he’d seen something prowling the catwalk, but at this very moment he saw nothing.

“Scully,” he called out.

“Almost there,” she answered, sounding breathless.

“I can’t see a thing. Maybe I’d just imagined it.”

“Well, there’s definitely _something_ here.”

He slid his hand into his pocket and retrieved a tiny flashlight, thinking to himself that he should have remembered it sooner. Just as he turned it on, a responding beam of light met his from the other side. Of course Scully didn’t forget hers.

He began to canvas the area with the flashlight’s tiny beam. All he could see were thick cables and various stage lights. Eventually his beam landed on Scully. To his shocking surprise not only was she barefoot, but it appeared that a major part of her dress’ skirt had been ripped off. The remaining shred reached her thigh’s midsection. “What happened?” he asked her as he directed the flashlight beam at her bare legs.

“Got snagged on something as I was climbing up to meet you,” she said matter-of-factly.

He found it strange that the dress somehow tore in such a way that it still managed to conceal all the important parts. He was about to point it out to her when he suddenly heard a deafening growl. Whatever that thing was, it was now right behind him.

“Get down!” Scully suddenly yelled at the top of her voice.

Instinctively, Mulder dropped to a crouching position. One millisecond later and he heard a loud popping sound as Scully’s gun shot into the air above him. Just as he heard the bullet hissing from above, a second ferocious growl was sounded; it, too, came right from above him. He lowered his head and held his hands over it, bracing himself for impact. He assumed Scully’s shot had hit the creature and he waited for its body to land on top of him but nothing happened.

“What the hell?!” It was Scully. He heard confusion in her voice. “I don’t get it…”

From his huddled position on the catwalk floor, Mulder finally raised his head and looked over at Scully. “What happened?”

She lowered herself and looked him in the eye. “You OK, Mulder?”

“I’m fine. _What_ happened?”

“I… I’m not sure,” she told him as they both stood up. “There was something behind you. I think it was some sort of wild cat. It had burning red eyes. It leaped and I shot at it just as it was about to hit you, and then… it just disappeared.”

Mulder was about to respond when he heard voices coming from below.

“Hello there? You OK?”

“We’re fine. Just coming down,” Mulder answered as he trailed back towards the catwalk ladder.

The way down took far less time and soon after they were both back on solid ground but just as Mulder set foot on the stage floor, a shrill cry sounded from outside the theater. His heart skipped a surprised beat and he gave Scully a quick glance; then, like seasoned synchronized swimmers, they both grabbed their guns and hurried down the stage stairs and across the theater all the way to the main exit.

Mulder barraged through the front doors and almost crashed into a group of people that stood just outside. The group seemed to be surrounding something and Mulder quickly broke through the wall of people all the while yelling “Federal Agent” at the top of his voice.

In the center of the convergence lay an old lady, and the limpness of her form told Mulder that she was most probably dead.

“Let me through,” Scully called out and shoved herself past Mulder. She hurriedly kneeled beside the elderly woman, grabbed her wrist and affirmed Mulder’s assumption. “She’s dead.”

An explosion of gasps, cries and hollers spread all around them. Mulder looked at Scully and shrugged, then he noted that the entire crowd consisted of both the play’s actors and spectators and he suddenly realized who the woman was. “I think she’s the playwright,” he motioned to Scully.

Scully didn’t respond to his revelation. Instead, Mulder noted she appeared to be studying something on the woman’s body. He huddled beside her. “What is it?”

“Look at this, Mulder.”

She held up what seemed to be an ancient and highly unique necklace that surrounded the old lady’s neck. The necklace’s pendant was shaped as a black panther with rubies for eyes. He caught Scully’s gaze with his and nodded with his head, then he turned to the bystanders. “When did she die?”

A sobbing man came forward. “There was this shooting sound from inside the theater and suddenly Mama dropped to the ground, clutching her chest. The next moment she was gone.” The man broke down in tears. “Mama! We kept our promise, Mama. We kept our promise.”

Scully got up and Mulder followed her. “I’ll get an ambulance, and I think that about does it for today.”

He nodded as they put some distance between themselves and the old lady’s relatives. “Pity about your dress,” he motioned towards her shredded garment with his head.

She sighed. “I guess now I _will_ be billing Skinner for an evening gown after all.”

He smiled, then as an afterthought, “Scully, I… enjoyed going… out with you today.”

She snorted. “Mulder, you were in hell most of this assignment.”

He licked his lips, chuckled softly and hinted at her thighs as he flapped his eyelashes. “Well now…. I believe there were a few… heavenly moments that definitely made up for the rest of it.”

She smirked, then nodded her head, turned around and began walking away. As she did so, she let her hand slide down her thigh ever so slowly. She then looked behind her, motioned with her head and called out to him, “Come on, Mulder. I really need a shower.”

**THE END**

 

 

 


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